We can’t have relationship without other people.
But when we invite others into our life, we will experience disappointments and injustices that lead to conflict. Conflict, unresolved, will act like a slow growing cancer which kills not only the relationship but also our hopes and dreams.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Look, if our bodies can overcome cancer, we can certainly overcome conflict.
One act of seeing the good in others even if that good seems outweighed by bad is one brave choice to combat the effects of strife in relationships.
People with problems or complaints are naturally defensive and sometimes offensive. As long as they feel vulnerable to being criticized, their wall will be up. One of the best ways to relieve tension or fear and not see vulnerability as bad, is to draw attention to the evidences of God’s grace in the someone elses life. The apostle Paul sets a great example. Knowing that he must bring correction to the incredible messed up church in Corinth, he begins his first letter with an affirmation.
“I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way–in all your speaking and in all your knowledge–because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful” (1 Cor. 1: 4-9; cf. Phil. 4:8-9).
Paul speaks life over these people even though they are not living right. He chose to start his letter with encouragement and we can do the same. Does this mean that the wrongs are ok, or that they won’t be addressed? Heck NO! But it does put our mind in the right place to speak with grace while helping the other person to trust that you have their best in mind. So, it benefits all of us to practice delighting in the good things about others (mo matter how deeply hidden those good things are).
When people experience this way of thinking from you, they will be more willing to pull back the curtain on areas that need your help and support.
If you’d like to practice seeing the good in others in a safe place, I invite you to join our free FaceBook group just for Christian Women who want to pursue healthy relationships with themselves, God and others. Can’t wait to know you there.